This record cold, temperatures of zero degrees and a windchill factor of minus 10 has made me think about global warming. IF there is global warming, I would not have had to do the following for the last two weeks:
Turn over a water trough for the equines and realize that there is an ice cube in the tub big enough to supply the frozen Margarita kiosks in Key West for the next decade.
Coat my hands with this slimey concoction that helps the "winter cuts" - think paper cuts X's a million - that are on every one of my fingers.
Walk across the levee on our farm in the zero degree temperature while it was snowing to retrieve our 16 year old Bearded Collie that suffers from the doggie equivilant of Alzheimer's. The rest of the younger dogs that set out on this venture across the frozen lake figured out pretty quickly that it was colder than hell and headed back to the house to get let back in. It was not until I did a head count, got to the 9th head that I realized that Buddy was missing. I looked out on the lake and no sign of Buddy. He was finally sighted on the back side of the seven acre lake wandering around peeing on everything that he could. Calling him from the house side of the levee did not accomplish anything, other than having him look around like he was hearing the voice of God. So, I had to walk across the levee and get him.
Construct an emergency baby nursery for the jennet that is due any minute now so that the baby does not freeze to the gorund when he or she is born!
Break ice on the ponds so that the animals can get to additional water.
Have my hair freeze when I bolt out the door after taking a shower to check on a broken water pipe.
Push "Depends" underwear into the wall, over insulation behind my Mom's guest toilet so that the pipes do not freeze again after getting fixed by the plumber last week.
Buy 5 additional space heaters to put in rooms with pipes on exterior walls because our central heat just is not cutting it.
Take the stalactites off of the horses/mules/donkeys forelocks.
Call the plumber about the water leak behind the barn that he will not be able to fix until the ground thaws.
Watch the news story about the Humboldt Penguins at the St. Louis Zoo being put in a barn because of the COLD.
And, put my plumber on speed-dial.
I believe that Al Gore should have to put on a Speedo bathing suit and join my demented dog Buddy on the frozen lake!
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